Welcome back to my blog, and we are back with a controversial but entertaining article! Today, I will make one bold, outrageous, simply incomprehensible prediction for your favourite PL club which will come true in 2023. Forget all the Sky Sports propaganda or the Irish Guy’s borderline insane predictions, my predictions will shatter expectations and be eerily accurate. Now, let’s dive into this article before I say anything potentially even more embarrassing than this.
Arsenal: The Gunners break the Christmas day curse and win the Prem.
There, I said it. I will defy all logic and back the Gunners to actually win the Premier League. No sarcasm, no back-handed compliments, nothing. Arsenal are true title challengers, and will hold onto their lead to win the top flight for the first time in over a decade. Arteta is not a fraud, his team will not collapse under pressure, and it will in fact become the first Arsenal side to win the Premier League after being top of the table on Christmas Day. In a season which was awkwardly disrupted by the World Cup, Arsenal will shock the world and actually win something of value for once. Just watch. If I get this right, you all should flood thogden’s comments with Aakash was right along with a link to this blog. (one does have to get the shameless plugs/promotion somehow)
Aston Villa: Emi Martinez and Dean Henderson will sign for you
An Aston Villa player has won the World Cup. No one would imagine such a comical situation before it actually happened, so surely the only way is up for this enigmatic goalkeeper? Well, I disagree. Emiliano Martinez’s rise to stardom is one to admire and get all fuzzy about, but one cannot deny that he is the ultimate shithouse. It’s in his blood, it is a crucial part of his play and he would never give it up for anyone. Certainly not for Emery and Villa. The rumours of a departure have died down, but I see Martinez moving abroad in the summer. It just has to happen. Whether to Bayern Munich or Atletico Madrid, it will happen. To fill this Martinez sized hole in their side, Villa will beat suitors to a deal for Dean Henderson. Whether that is a loan deal or permanent buy will remain unknown till it happens, but I simply see it happen. Henderson’s future at United is practically over after his not-so-kind words about the management, and it may be more attractive to start afresh at a massive club like Villa than warm the bench for an ageing David De Gea.
Bournemouth: You will get relegated and Chris Wilder will take over in the Championship
This isn’t exactly the boldest prediction in the list, but you seriously can’t expect me to not predict this. The Cherries are practically everyone’s soft spot team, yet no one seems to believe that they will stay up. A view that I completely agree with. Their squad simply cannot compete with the other squads in the relegation scrap, and there is no way they stay up. If they do, i will dedicate an entire article to them. Also, i have a gut feeling Wilder will be hired after Gary O’Neil’s sacked in May to lead the Cherries in their season back in the Championship.
Brentford: Thomas Frank will leave the club
This seems a bit idiotic from me but hear me out. Yes, Frank has built something there and yes Brentford fans would sooner sell their kidneys than see him leave but I can just see this happening. Brendan Rodgers will get sacked at Leicester, and the Foxes will swoop in for Frank. Leicester are a bigger team with more resources, and he would be a perfect figure head for their new era. If not, Everton would be a fun challenge as well or maybe even West Ham. There is a dearth of quality managers in the Premier League, and Frank’s amazing job at Brentford affords him the choice to decide his future.
Brighton & Hove Albion: The Seagulls sell Sanchez, Caicedo, Mitoma and Mac Allister in the summer
So basically I am predicting a summer clear out for Brighton. Not the most edgy prediction, but surely bordering on radical. Let me explain. Brighton may be making waves in the Premier League, but they still lack the financial pull or ambition to hold onto world class players. The aforementioned quartet (and perhaps more) have been phenomenal all season, and will be soon gone for far more attractive and lucrative projects. I can see it happen. Sanchez moves to Manchester United or Atletico Madrid to replace De Gea or Oblak, Caicedo makes the big money switch to Chelsea or Liverpool, Mitoma swaps the Amex for the Etihad to replace Mahrez and Mac Allister secures a fat paycheck at someone like Barcelona, Chelsea or Manchester City. Trust me, De Zerbi will have to do some serious thinking on potential replacements after what will be a whirlwind clear out of Brighton in the first few weeks of the window.
Chelsea: Graham Potter keeps his job and gets them Europa League football
This may seem far from reality at this point, but this prediction is one I would bank my money on. Graham Potter’s reign at Chelsea has been the very definition of Chaos, but some massive moves in January will definitely see them trump Liverpool to Europa League football. “but Aakash”, you say, “Chelsea are below Liverpool at this very moment and are nowhere clear to the quality of Liverpool. How could this possibly happen?”. This is where quality of squad depth comes into play. Klopp’s Liverpool is at it’s stretching point, with ageing players, injury strucken players and inexperienced youngsters all forming a squad desperately searching for answers. Chelsea, on the other hand, do have a depleted squad, but the quality of their bench is too good for them to do badly. they will pull it together by February, but will fail to beat Manchester United and Newcastle United to top 4. I’d still count 5th/6th as a blessing in disguise for Chelsea fans at this rate. Beggars certainly can’t be choosers, that’s for sure.
Crystal Palace: Zaha won’t be missed after a summer departure with Micheal Olise easily replacing him.
This is controversial, but it’s hard, cold facts. Micheal Olise is every bit talented as Zaha, and has time on his side to develop even more. The Frenchman has pure magic in his feet, and his partnership will be crucial to alleviating Zaha’s loss in the summer. Zaha will move to Newcastle United, where he will be a decent winger, but Olise and Eze will quickly integrate into the team and make the Palace fans all forget about their talisman. Olise is simply too good for them, and 2023 will be the year he seizes the chance to become their best player bar none.
Everton: The Toffees will go down
It pains me to say this, but Everton are going down. For the first time in over 70 years, Everton fans will have to get used to trips to Sunderland or Blackburn as well as mind-numbing long ball football in the Champiomship. Frank Lampard has been booted out the door, but he was hardly the cause of their problems. Their decline will not stop, and the team will slowly rot away, destroying the reputation of yet another Everton manager as well as being the first squad to get relegated in the Premier league. Their squad will be raided in the summer for their uncut gems, and they could possibly even do a Sunderland. Hopefully not, but Everton seem doomed to second tier football in 2023.
Fulham: Finish in top 10 and sign a semi world-class baller in summer
Say this quietly, but Marco Silva’s Fulham are becoming a true mid-table side. Hiring Marco Silva has been the Cottagers’ best decision in years, and his excellent management has elevated Fulham from relegation fodder to Conference League contenders. Whether they finish in top 7 is something I am unsure about, but I am very sure they will finish firmly in the top half of the table. This will allow them to sign a big name player who is on the decline (someone like Pulisic or Ziyech) or an emerging player like Daichi Kamada, which will boost their squad and make them someone to reckon with next season.
Leeds United: Jesse Marsch will keep them up and keep his job
Jesse Marsch has become an extremely divisive figure at Leeds, given their recent struggles and the fact that they are above the relegation zone by ONE singular point. While the alarm bells should be ringing for the Leeds board, I think the American will turn it around and keep Leeds up comfortably. This will give him some credit in the bank which he will use to continue building his project in the summer. Many are baying for Marsch’s blood, but I feel he has it in him to keep the Leeds project going.
Leicester City: Brendan Rodgers will be sacked and replaced by Thomas Frank or Steven Gerrard
Call me crazy, but I think it’s the end of the road for Rodgers at Leicester. He’ll get sacked in March with the club languishing in 15th, and replaced by an interim before they hire a ‘project’ manager in the summer. That manager will be either Thomas Frank or Steven Gerrard. Both are very different managers, with one currently at his lowest managerial point while the other is being showered with praises from all directions. However, I can see the Leicester board choosing either manager just due to their charisma and name. The Foxes need a reboot this summer, and will do it with a new face at the wheel.
Liverpool: Liverpool finish 7th behind Tottenham and Chelsea
This seems a bit biased, but I genuinely think the Liverpool train is running out of steam and this season will end in disappointment for the Scousers. Liverpool have been a pale and pathethic impression of themselves the whole season, and January signing Cody Gakpo is yet to bring about the desired turnaround effect he was supposed to. Losing 3–0 to Brighton would be unimaginable for Liverpool fans two years ago, and the steep decline after last season’s charge on four fronts is truly astonishing. Liverpool are in desperate need for a midfield refresh, and will get it done this summer, but not before finishing 7th. Klopp will probably keep his job, but potential new owners will probably keep an eye on the managerial market just in case.
Manchester City: City will not win the Prem even though Haaland break Premier League most goals in a season record.
Manchester City fans still seem to believe that they will win the league and that there is no chance Arsenal will sustain their lead at the top. I say otherwise. This assured cockiness that winning is in their DNA and Arsenal are bottlers will be what unravels Pep Guardiola’s side this season, and even though I think this might be the season win the CL, they will fail in the pursuit for the Premier League. Haaland will still break the goalscoring record however, and I say he will hit 37 goals by the time matchday 38 comes to an end. I may get this terribly wrong, but I have got to go with my gut for this one.
Manchester United: Manchester United will win the Carabao Cup and Europa League this season
I think that this will finally be the season United win something after so long, and they will reach not one, but three finals, though I only see them winning two, the Carabao cup and Europa League. This could feel a bit over-the-top considering I support United, but I genuinely feel that we will finally make a mark in European football by winning the Europa league. Domestic success through the Carabao cup would be welcome as well, and this will boost ETH and his side to challenge for the Prem next season.
Newcastle United: The Magpies will finish top 4
it seems surreal that Newcastle are in the top 4, but they are. And i think they will still be in top 4 come May. Eddie Howe has built a defensively rock-solid team, and has many game changers like Isak and Guimaraes to win games for them. They will continue to pick up important wins, keep clean sheets and will somehow make top 4. It seemed unlikely for them to make it into the top 6 just two years ago in December 2021, but now with Eddie Howe at the wheel Newcastle are returning to their glory days.
Nottingham Forest: Forest stay up comfortably and Brennan Johnson doesn’t leave for a bigger club
Nottingham Forest have been a team I wanted to stay up since they got promoted, and I feel they will achieve this and spend at least one more season in the top flight. They were in deep trouble just a few gameweeks ago, but now they seem to be doing well enough to have a minor points cushion in the relegation battle. I say they finish 14th, and will sign new players in the summer to reach top 6. I also feel Brennan Johnson will stay at the club for one more season instead of shifting to a top 6 club.
Southampton: Southampton are going down, JWP leaves and Nathan Jones gets sacked
This prediction is pretty easy, given that Southampton have been pretty terrible the whole season. However, some still believe they stand a chance of staying up, which I highly doubt. They lack grit and the squad depth to compete in the Premier League, and going down will probably be the catalyst for a rebuild they desperately need. I also feel Nathan Jones will be chucked out the door by April, by when Southampton are well embroiled in a relegation scrap which I feel a new manager will struggle to cope with. Finally, i think this summer window will finally see James Ward-Prowse leave the South Coast for a fresh start. A player of his quality should not play a minute of Championship football, and I think he will sign for West Ham, Leicester or even Newcastle to continue his legendary free-kick scoring streak in the Prem. He is a player who also brings grit and discpline in midfield, which is why he would be a great asset for most teams in the Prem.
Tottenham Hotspur: No Champions League football, and Harry Kane AND Son Heung-Min leave
These two predictions are the complete opposite of each other. The first one makes some sense, while the second is completely nutty. I feel Conte’s side is running out of steam and determination, and will fall behind Chelsea and United in the race for top 4. Hugo Lloris will drop some clangers, Tottenham’s defence will continue to have the solidity of mushed potatoes, and Harry Kane will struggle to keep scoring goals to keep Tottenham in the running. It just has to happen. Europa League football will see Conte leave (something so obvious that I doubt it has to even be classed as a ‘prediction’), and Harry Kane and Son Heung-Min follow suit. Where to, tho? My gut tells me Harry Kane signs for either Manchester United or Real Madrid. He’s in his prime, but doesn’t have many years of top class football left in him. 5–6 years is definitely enough for him to make an impact at any club though, so I feel United might do a Van Persie and sign Kane. Yes, the circumstances are slightly different since Kane is an academy product, but both were 29 when they moved and both were their club’s talismans frustrated with a lack of success. RVP was electric and led United to a title charge in his first season, and maybe Kane could replicate that too. Son Heung-Min, on the other hand, will move to Bayern Munich or PSG. He’s done a lot in the Prem for Tottenham, and so it’s time for a new country or challenge for the South Korean. Bayern Munich would love to have a player of his calibre to replace the diminishing Serge Gnabry, while PSG could use another quality forward to alternate with an ageing Messi.
West Ham United: Brendan Rodgers replaces Moyes and JWP signs for you in the summer to replace Declan Rice
I have two and a half major predictions for West Ham, and let me tell you why. West Ham are in a transition stage. From their highest point in recent years to their lowest point. However, they can only go back up from here, which is why i feel the following will happen. Moyes will get sacked in March, and they’ll bring in an interim manager till the end of season, where Brendan Rodgers will take over after his own sacking from Leicester. Rodgers will then sign a player Leicester have been linked to for many years, JWP to boost his midfield after Declan rice’s inevitable departure. Rice has outgrown your club, and deserves a move to one of the biggest clubs in the world. I feel he will make the switch to either Chelsea or Manchester United, where he will compete for a starting spot against the very best.
Wolves: Lopetegui will lead you to top 6 by end 2023.
While this season has been somewhat of a train wreck for Wolves, I feel they might be back in the running for Europe next season. Their manager is pure class, and he will keep them up before boosting their squad with some tailor-made signings. This will allow him to lead them to a top 6 spot by the time the Boxing Day fixtures of next season come around, and I will look like a genius. If this happens, you will all spam Wolves Instagram page with Aakash was right.
That’s all for this article, hope you enjoyed what was meant to be a light-hearted and entertaining article. Do tell me your own predictions or disagreements, and till my next article, adios!